I know, I know I know... I'm still your love.

"I know what it is to live alone inside your head, while never giving a clue as to your real feelings"

-Albert, The Young Victoria [2009]

I find the very idea of writing letters to be quite a romantic notion. In these fast paced times I find that our society has evolved to lean towards the instantanous gratification, not cherishing those many things that take time. I would like to return to writing letters out to those I hold dear, though I imagine it's not very practical... it is a novelty. Expendable.

Today has been a bit anticlimactic. I woke up past noon, again, which is unshocking as I didn't get to sleep until seven. When I woke up I ate appropriate amounts, and ran on the treadmill, and honestly I began to feel like I was starting on the path to make a dent of an improvement in my life.

Fast forward a few hours, and you have me thinking almost to the point of brooding. I have come to realize that in order to become a better, healthier person I need to cut the bad out of my life, or at least reduce it. Sadly, I also realize that there are people and factors that I really can't change, and friends that I don't want to get rid of. The stress and upset, and overall bad energy around me will probably not be the most positive thing for my venture, but we all have to learn to take the good with the bad.... Here's hoping I get it.

Todays acomplishments: Treadmill walking, portion control, knitting half a hat.
Up tomorrow: First Weigh in and Measurements

Goals: Reduce time talking about negative things, disconnect when attempts are not helping.

-A.E.

These City lights...

Fear less, hope more. Eat less, chew more. Whine Less, breathe more. Talk less, say more. Hate less, love more, and good things will be yours."

-Swedish Proverb.

Today was jam-packed with amazing things!

While I was still sleeping, the treadmill we hired arrived. Just to clarify, we hired a treadmill for less than it would cost mum, myself, and my sister Kaitlin to purchase gym memberships... We decided that this was the best course of action for the next three months or so, as we can gage how often we will use it before we put money into actually purchasing one.

The three of us have made ourselves a weight loss competition, the first to lose 10kg doesn't have to do the dishes. I personally think this should be modified for my sister, Kaitlin, who has the least to lose and will have the hardest time of the three of us to lose it. Weigh ins and measurements will come on Monday, three days after I actually start using the treadmill. The one thing I have been trying like mad to find is a hulahoop, it's difficult to even find a normal hoop with no exercise stuff built into it. I am craving the childhood bliss of trying to keep the hoop spinning for hours. At some point within the next few weeks I should have one... I plan to purchase a jump rope with sparkly handles, and sidewalk chalk while I am at it. I'm 23 and I have no shame in being a child at heart. I was healthier back then, so apparently I was doing something right!

I think if more people took the time to regress into their childhood, or at least their childhood mental state of being, there would be happier people in the world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying a day of reading, swimming, hop skotch, bubbles, poprocks and lunchables!

My mother, sister and I went out today, we went to the American Food store, and found the usual things we get... Sunflower seeds, junk food they don't have here in New Zealand, Salad dressing, and a new pair of pajama bottoms for me. They went regular food shopping after that, as I floated in and out of the shoppes. I love bookstores, and art stores, so I often find that Paperplus is a decent blend of two of my favourite places. I found stretched canvas on sale for 66% of price, and I couldn't help but snatch them up... Several very large blank canvases now lay in our painting area. I also found the first and the third book in Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy. I only purchased the first one, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I was actually suprised at how expensive it was even though it was paper back and 25% off.. I need to remind myself to look at prices of books from now on.

Last, but certainly not least, Sara (Sar-uh) came by to dye mum, Keely, and my hair. Finally my hair is back to being dark, and one colour. She is a major ego lift to everyone around her, she compliments you, and makes your hair look fabulous.

So with my spirits high, I think I am going to call this an early night, and get an early start in the morning-- I have a treadmill to use!

-A.E.

Soothed

A peculiar, almost ominous, mist seemed to have set out last night in Auckland. It was almost all encompassing, and due to the streetlamps and the lights, the sky was tinged red. While quite beautiful it was eerie, almost disturbing. My sister thought to bring up the mist at least six times, and once more for good luck at three in the morning when we headed to our bedrooms to get ready for sleep.

I found myself, like many other nights, unable to sleep until the sun peeked over the horizon and greeted us with another day. There is something serene about the early morning, the twilight stretching across the land as the sun rises, bird chirping in the distance, and the general sounds of early morning activity that knock me out. As well, probably, as the fact that the beauty of the night, and the mystery of the darkness have ceased to hold it's grip over me.

As I fell into sleep, I began to think at what seemed to be a prolonged rapid speed, some thoughts coming to the foreground. On thought in particular seemed fairly important: To be healthier you need to sleep earlier than sunrise.

Is it really healthier to sleep at night if you get the same amount of hours of sleep in the day time?

Most of my day has been dedicated to thinking, knitting, and using stumbleupon to increase my knowledge of useless crap that I will probably never need for my field of study. It was fun though.

--A.E.