Blip

Ambition is not what a man would do, but what a man does, for ambition without action is fantasy.
-Bryant H. McGill

Well, I haven't trained with Kaitlin since Tuesday, but I kept to what she told me to do. I ran, did abs things, walked, stretched, felt like I was going to die... And tried to remember to breathe while jogging. I know in time all of this will grow easier, but right now it is hard. I remind myself it's just temporary pain.

I still don't understand why I have to THINK about breathing to remember to do it, it should be automatic.

I don't really have much to report, this is partially because I am completely knackered.

--A.E.

"If you don't start running by the count of three I will not be training you tomorrow!"

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
-Winston Churchill

Kaity Training Me Day Two:

Honestly I don't think I could properly do this without Kaitlin. Sure, I can write out the schedule's, and I have, but I can't give myself the motivation she gives me. She yells at me to do it, so I do. When it hurts and I want to simply walk the rest of the way home she makes me jog more.. Sadly while I am doing better at it I am not doing as well as I would like to be... And probably a lot less than my sister would like me to be doing.

Honestly the hardest part to motivate myself with is the running, so I am so grateful to have Kaity to train me. Today when we were running up the hill (and it hurt trust me) I couldn't keep going... So she would yell at me to continue.. And I would and then I would go a bit and stop and walk and go a bit.. It is really hard to keep my body going with that.. Honest to god my body hates me.

At the time Kaity said, "If you don't start running by the count of three, today will be the last day I train you!" I felt as if something was weighing me down. It was a chore to breathe, to move my legs and arms and to try to catch up to her and my younger sister Saskia.

My legs are sore now. Doing our stretches and mild ab work out a bit later seems so much easier... it's weird.

Today makes 13 days smoke free.

--A.E.

Breathing is good. Please do more of that.

You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own and you know what you know. And you are the one who’ll decide where to go.

– Dr. Seuss

Today was day 1 of my training with Kaity. We were supposed to do five UpHills, we got through just over one and a half... Apparently while doing any physical activity that is more intense than a mild jog I forget to breathe. I wish I would have just pushed past it, looking back even twenty minutes later makes me realize how whiny and very defeatist I was. I felt annoyed with myself, disappointed in myself. I know that they say it's actually your mind putting the limits on your body... that your body is capable of so much more... but it doesn't feel that way when you're running up and down a hill and your lips are turning blue.

I still have ab things to do today, my 1:1's (one minute running, one minute walking), and Tai Chi. Kaity and I will probably go running by the water tonight when less people are out and about.

I have an awesome trainer who pushes me, and I am glad for it... Though I know today isn't done, I know tomorrow I will do better.

--A.E

Plans!

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions all life is an experience.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wanted to get another quick update in before I head off to bed.

I have to say I love watching History Chanel/ National Geographic/ Science/ General education shows while walking... It makes me feel as if I am working my mind and my body. Yesterday I ran 10k (6.2 miles), today I could only get in 5k before I decided it was too late to be on the treadmill for those still awake in the house. Tomorrow evening I will be starting Yoga at the community center, and hopefully Zumba. I will be checking out an art 'class' there as well in the morning. Monday I plan to start out Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.

Mum and I are going to get a few more things for working out... One of the things she is getting to help with her lymph fluid and back is an inversion table, which I am excited about because doing crunches on it would be awesome.

Mum is planning on visiting a nutritionist in August, and I think I will be as well.


Today marks a week of not smoking. I really want a cigarette.

I am proud of myself.

--A.E.

Quick Update

"People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. "

-Dale Carnegie

This past week has been pretty amazing, between mum and I baking Armenian recipes, to Kaity acting like a clown in our tai chi class yesterday. I am very blessed to have the support, love and laughter that my family provides me.

I don't have much time to update, I need to go and do a few things. Help my mother out, get a run in, do some yoga, and hopefully check out Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred.

As for an update, tomorrow will make a week of me not smoking, this morning I woke up feeling as if I had just smoked two packs in one sitting... Mum said it means that my lungs are healing... Honestly it just feels crappy.

Reminder to self: Art, marathon, cleaning

-A.E.

Languages are lovely.

Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be.

– Dorothy Parker

Today is my second full day without a cigarette. While I haven't gone running like I planned to, I think I have done fairly well.

Since I have started on the Zyban I have found myself doing things differently. I eat only until I am no longer hungry, but not until I feel stuffed, and sometimes I almost forget to eat. My sleeping has regulated itself, I am waking up every morning at seven and eight... And most importantly I am feeling hopeful.

While I feel as if I am leveling off emotionally I can't help but feel an over abundance of hope I have mostly spent the last week adjusting to the medicine, and cleaning. The most amazing part of this though, is the fact that I haven't smoked in the last two days. I have some cravings, but not overwhelming and not as often as I have previously had to go through.

I have decided recently that I went to learn several languages. Currently I am wanting to learn German and Mandarin, but I need to brush up on my Armenian...

It's good to keep busy.

-A.E.

It made me raise my game, And I'm still rising, I'm still rising

Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.

– Marianne Williamson

Today mum, myself, and my sister Kaitlin went out to the mall to get some things... We were able to get yoga mats which is lovely. We got six, in total I think, since four of us are going to be consistently going to Yoga starting Thursday, and since we may or may not have friends/family who go with us.

When we got home I felt a bit nauseous, so I went to my room for a lie down. I think the Zyban is the cause of it, at least I hope it is I would hate to be coming down with something. I have to say I have been feeling much better these past few days.

I walked my mile, but didn't push it further than that since I knew I would be going to my Tai Chi class a bit later. It was very relaxing, I enjoyed it greatly. My only problem was that at the end of the hour (I hadn't even realized the time had past!) my legs were so shaky from holding my weight, moving my weight, etc. in a bent position, slowly changing directions. My thighs are sore, which I expected after I had been in there for a little while, and my abs are a bit sore from it, which I didn't expect at all.

I think what I enjoyed about it most was the way I cleared my mind and thought. I thought a lot about the book I have just finished, (Excuse me, your life is waiting, by Lynn Grabhorn), and I have to say that while some of it just seems like horsewash the fundamentals of it are something I have always believed in. Like attracts like. I think reading it has reaffirmed some of my positive thinking, or at least some of my attempts at positive feeling, and perhaps has even given me a small amount of spiritual enlightenment.

Thursday I will be going to an art class in the morning, I spoke with the woman who holds them on the phone about it, and though I don't really need a class to teach me to paint I do very much want to be around artistically inclined minds. She told me that there are people there with various levels of skill in her classes, and that for those more skilled in their craft it is for criticism. I am very excited for this class, I think it will be amazing to be around others in such a setting again, I miss it. Mum, my sisters, and I will be attending Yoga as well that evening... and maybe Zumba, depending. I am mildly wary of the Zumba, not because it's dancing... I am sure it will me amazing though.

I hope everyone in the USA has a lovely 4th of July, to all my friends and family there: I miss you dearly.

--A.E