I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I’ve ended up where I needed to be.
– Douglas Adams
Over the past three days now, I have let myself slip. Of course I know I have the ability inside myself somewhere, but I fear I lack the drive. I would like to believe this will be the first and last attempt, but when it comes down to it, I don't think I have the full support I need.
Don't get me wrong, my mum and sisters are supportive, but when it comes to my dietary changes that need to happen.... they aren't there. I know I should curb my portions, but that seems to make little difference when one night you are eating chineese food, and the next night it is pizza. What I really need to do is start making seperate meals, refuse temptation, and kick this up a notch.
I don't want those custard filled dounuts from Dunkin' Dounuts, they taste so good for about five seconds, then it is over. There is nothing significant gained from it, not even contentment.... because I hate myself afterwards.
I hate this body, and it's all my fault. I feel like losing all of this will never be finished. I know this journey will never be done I will start planning my meals a weak in advance and start giving mum the list of things I need for my new dietary plan.... I think this may mean joining SparkPeople for a 'real' count of things. Perhaps I will also record all my numbers in there for the best possible outcome.
Today I walked a mile, yesterday I took a day off, the day before I walked two miles.
Goals:
- Join Spark People
- Lose 10 kilos by the end of June.
- Track input, and output- at least estimates
- Get healthier amounts of sleep
- Stop feeling and being so inactive
- Do more of the things I day dream about
- Discover more time in a day.
- Look into learning French.
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