Oh deary me!

You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own and you know what you know. And you are the one who’ll decide where to go.

– Dr. Seuss

Goodness, this week has been busy! Between going to the doctors, giving blood, cleaning around the house, and walking/jogging there hasn't been much time to be around.

My doctor put me on Zyban on Wednesday to help me quit smoking. He says it won't fully kick in for about a week, so I have made my quit date this upcoming Wednesday. On Thursday I gave blood at the blood bank, and was surprised when the Nurse had no issue sticking me... apparently I will always need to have an experienced nurse, and use my left arm for donations.

Friday I did my run, and found out that mum and I had to drive to pick up Saskia... Which is fine, just last minute. So I spent four hours in a car... Thrilling stuff, I know. Saturday, mostly I spent time with family, and cleaning.

I am getting to sleep at an earlier time, waking up at an earlier time... all around things are going well.

Tonight we are going to get Yoga Mats... we didn't get to start Tai Chi last week, but I personally do plan to start all the things that mum and I are supposed to do, with or without her.

Here are the things I am looking at:

Monday

6:30 - 7:30 PM Tai Chi

Tuesdays

5:30 - 6:30 pm Thai Lessons (to learn the language)

Wed 1st and 3rd of each month

9:00 - 4:30 pm Tramping Group

Mon 8pm / Wed 630pm / Friday 9:15 am

Body Balance - stretch and strength class

Thursday

10:00 am - Art Lessons

6:15 - 730 pm Yoga

7:30 pm Zumba $8 per class

I am really looking forward to the Yoga... The Tramping group frightens me a bit... but I think it might be good? Scary though.


I hope you've all had a good week.

--A.E.

Boom boom Pow

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

—Will Rogers

I must admit, I think I have a severe case of the Winter Blues.

It has been almost a week since I have updated. Time sure does fly when you're busy. In the past week I have worked out most of the days, cleaned some, and tried to stabalize myself.

This weeks lesson for me was about emotional health. I plan to quit smoking, as it is an unhealthy crutch. The medicine I plan to be on to help me with this is also an antidepressant.

Mum and I are going to be going to the community center here, for healthy activities like Tai Chi, Yoga, and walking groups... But it is also greatly for our own social benifit, as we could both use friends in the area. Kaity and I might also start doing ZUMBA, though I am not quite sure how to feel about this... I feel silly.

My weight has been stable, I am not gaining or losing anything, and I think most of this is attributed to my eating habits. Mum and I are going to start weigh ins on Mondays of each week. She is going to order more salad like things, which I think is brilliant.

-- A.E.

I like it in the city when two worlds collide.

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.

– John Lennon

I woke up late, by four hours, and while I could whinge about the wasted time I think it was much needed for my still recuperating body. I have stopped coughing almost all together, which is a good sign, and I think within the next few days I will have completely recovered from my chest issues.

Though I woke up late overall I have to say today was fairly productive. I have cleaned much of the upstairs of the house, jogged and did calisthenics, put groceries away, got the clothes out... While it wasn't as active as I planned physically there was something about it that was soothing. I enjoy feeling productive, and in the past few months I feel like I have generally been unable to obtain that feeling... With a lack of a job or schooling while waiting for our residency to go through on average there aren't many things most would call productive.

Mum, Aaron and I talked about a way to earn some extra cash since I enjoy to have money sitting in my wallet. I think this will be good for me, as it will keep me busy and give me a way to save for a rainy day.

Kaity, Keely, and myself spent a decent amount of time doing art at the same time in the same room. It was nice to be in a room with other artistic minds, especially my sisters... I am so blessed to have been raised in an environment that encourages and provokes my artistic sensibilities, as well as my intellectual acuity. I am blessed to have lived in a home that encouraged me to have my own opinion, as well as to help develop my own individuality.

To my parents, thank you.

--A.E.

New Beginnings Start Every Day.

Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down.

~Mary Pickford

In the past few weeks I have completely neglected updating this blog. We are coming up on a month of not updating tomorrow and honestly I can say I have no excuse as to why.

I have either neglected to work out as much, or completely neglected working out on the whole. To top the matter off for the past week I have been sick and unable to leave my room let alone work out... I fear that part of that is me not wanting to. I often wonder if I am self sabotaging myself in almost every aspect of my life.

I know that when I wake up early and do things I feel better... Not only do I feel healthier but I feel better about myself. I need to stop making excuses and start making the time to improve myself as I have previously said I would.

Going to the doctor I found out I lost over 9cm (around 4inches)from my waist since I last saw him. My starting weight was 135 kg (297 lbs), and I am now down to 123 kg (270.6 lbs). That is a total loss of 12 kg (26 lbs). I plan to stick to my plans and scheduals for the next few months, with Saturday and Sundays as my designated 'rest' days. It should be easier considering I have mapped out my day with ideas of what I should be doing with over 8 hours of 'free time' and 9 hours of sleep planned.

Now that I no longer have a URI I feel even more like I need to do these things. I can conquer anything I put my mind to. I am simply happy I didn't go backwards in my progress, despite my falling behind.

--A.E.

Child, be still.

"Each time we don't say what we want to say, we're dying. Make a list of how many times you died this week."

-Yoko Ono

As someone who has been larger for the bulk of my life, I have always prided myself on at least being an intelligent, outspoken young woman. A unique individual who has fought for the rights of equality for everyone with no race, gender, or sexual preference bias. I have taken comfort in the fact that I have a loving family to fall back to when my world crumbles. As a young adult, my life has felt like it's crumbled quite a bit.

I enjoy good debates, I enjoy intellectually stimulating conversation... I have to say that tonight when I engaged in a political debate it was all good and fun until they brought my age into it. It made me upset to have people dismiss my opinions because I am young. Worse than that, they dismissed my points though all they had was speculation and personal feelings on the subject based on their own political allegiances, and accused me of basically being a sheep, molded by a failing left wing agenda.

It was all fine and well, I felt slighted and shot down based on my age and being outnumbered, nothing incredibly emotional there. What really upset me was when a family member decided to attack me because I no longer live in the United States of America, but in New Zealand with my mum and sisters. It put salt on the wound. I don't care that my family may have a different opinion than I do, but to state that I have no right to formulate my own opinions due to living outside of the country I grew up in? It made me so angry, and so upset I wanted to cry.

After a little while of thinking about it, and ten to fifteen minutes of jump roping I decided it wasn't worth it to be upset about it. Nothing further has come of it, and I don't expect it to.

I am taking these steps to improve myself, whether others see or know what I am doing doesn't mean they understand who I am, or what I am going through. Though at times I have been highly emotional, I have never been a very open person; a problem I am currently trying to revise.

The past two days I have spent less time than I should working on my physical self, though I have been so surprisingly keen on self reflection and emotional evolution. The other night my mum and I sat down to watch Downton Abby (which is brilliant so far), and we paused the episode talking about the caste system of English society. Eventually our conversation progressed to my personal, romantic relationships. Through the conversation we expressed our lives and relationships... I was so close to breaking down, I cried a bit talking of previous lovers, and partners I had never told her about... Most importantly we talked about my deep and unwavering, though at times convoluted relationship with Jersey. She is my constant. Even through the worst of times we have broken through the hard times.

I think I will break through these (mentally and emotionally) hard times. I have the support system I think I need. We will see with time.

-A.E.

♪ 'Gotta watch myself, I've gotta love myself, and take care...' ♪

I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart. I now choose to free myself from all destructive fears and doubts. I am loved and I am safe.

– Louise Hay

This morning I weighed in, a kilo more than a week ago. While I am unhappy with the result there are many reasons this could be-- especially with the fact that I am eating better and working out more. I am thinking water retention, as my younger sister had stated to me, over the idea of muscle amassing as I am working hard... I also really think that a digital scale would be a better investment than the one we have currently as it seems it is a bit... shifty. You can't read it as well as you'd like. I decided I will be taking my measurements and what not in three weeks, as I believe they are quite likely the same as they were last week. I think a monthly measurement system is a wiser way to do this.

My hula hoop came this afternoon, and let me tell you, though I can't keep it up more than six seconds now, I am going to be amazing at it sometime in the near future! Kaitlin is still helping me when it comes to being more active, though today wasn't as hard as it was yesterday, despite the fact that we were out longer today than we were yesterday. I am planning on taking a walk once I am finished with my dinner.

There are several things swimming around in my mind at the moment regarding my own emotional, intellectual, and spiritual standing. As of right now I will postpone writing about them, as dinner is ready to eat...

I think I might start taking pictures for this blog.

It's a pleasant thought, I think.

-A.E.

But I can see through you, see to the real you.

A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts.

– Nancy Rathburn

Today was a good day. I went out with my mum and my sister Kaitlin to the Fish Market here in Auckkers. My sister bought some of the most amazing sushi ever, and I looked at all the whole unaltered fish. We ended up purchasing two red snappers and several kilo's of muscles... as well as other things that I don't remember.

I have to say that Kaitlin is a riot, especially when in a weird mood. I had mentioned the red snapper had a tongue, and Kaitlin just went closer to it, face to face with it with her tongue out, mum her and I all making smart ass comments... If I were a wicked sister I would have pushed the fish into her face.

Kaity also kicked my ass today while we jump roped... tomorrow I need to run on the treadmill first because daaaaaaaaaaaayum. She made me keep going even after I was so completely over it. Here in autumn I thought swimming would be an easier idea than having her make me jump so much. She's a good motivator though, and though my muscles already hurt, I know she is good for my weight loss goals. In the long run, though my body aches and complains now, it will thank her later.

I also cooked dinner tonight, it was healthy enough, and everyone seemed to love it. Mum is making Armenian Kebobs tomorrow night, and I can't wait. I will help her with them, because mmm mmm mmm!

So I joined Spark People a few weeks ago, and I tried to stay true to it... tried to bother writing down calories in and out... but honestly it just doesn't feel like there is enough time in the day. I give up on Spark People, it lacks what 3fatchicks.com has, as well as the time it seems to take up.

I am going to sign up to Jillian Michaels (free) and see where that gets me... I am also thinking of looking into getting the bike in the garage up and running. Mum, Kaity and I were talking about bicycles in different styles... I must admit, I want banana bars, and a bell on mine... and to tell the truth, a basket on the back. Anywhozit, this is what JillianMichaels has to say about my height/weight ratio and what it seems I need to do from the preliminary questions:

• 1. Variety is your get-skinny solution!
• Because you crave fruit and bread as well as salty foods, cheeses, and meats, you may be a balanced oxidizer (the fancy term for your metabolic rate). Put simply, you need equal proportions of protein, carbs, and fat to process the nutrients in your food optimally. Lucky you — your diet is the easiest to follow! You feel your best on a diet that incorporates a wide range of foods, and your ideal macronutrient ratio is roughly 40% carbs: 30% protein: 30% fat.
• 2. Follow the rule of four:
• Eat every four hours to optimize your body’s fat-burning potential. When your system goes for long periods without eating you go into starvation mode, effectively shutting down your metabolism.
• 3. Get Moving!
  The greater your muscle mass, the higher your metabolism. My killer cardio and fitness program will help you build lean, strong muscles so you lose weight faster and with less effort.
• 4. Do the work.
  You need to remove the toxins from your diet and your environment, restore healthful nutrients, and rebalance your energy. The result: a body that's essentially a fat-burning machine.

So these things are what I am doing, minus maybe her killer cardio and fitness program, we will see! I still need to pull out her video for Yoga... but I have come to realize I have no mat, and it would bite to do yoga on tile with no mat!!! Kaity and Keely are uninterested in Yoga... but are both interested in jumping rope. I can see positive things on using JillianMichaels.com, but it seems like the same thing as SparkPeople but paying 20 USD a month for it... which while I can afford it, seems pointless.

Tomorrow is my second weigh in, I am hoping I haven't gained weight... If I have then I don't know where I went wrong, really.

Hoping for a kilo less!

-A.E.